Skip to content

Archive for May 2011

27
May

Letter From Home

My Dearest Redneck Son,

I’m writing this slow, beacuse I know you can’t read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper
that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won’t be able
to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house
numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change address. Read more »

25
May

Former KC Royal has Died

The winningest pitcher and broadcaster for the Kansas City Royals, died Wednesday at the age of 64. Just 10 days after it was announced that Paul Splittorff was battling melanoma and oral cancer, the KC Royals said that Mr. Splittorff passed away at his home in Blue Springs, MO., a suburb of Kansas City from complications from skin cancer.

Splittorff was drafted in 1968 in the 25th round by the incoming expansion Kansas City Royals. Paul Splittorff pitched his entire 15-years in the major leagues for Kansas City. Paul retired after the 1984 season with 166 victories a club-record. Splittorff had his best year as a Royal during the 1973 season winning 20 games with only 11 losses, the Royals first pitcher to win 20 games. In 15 seasons, Paul Splittorff was 166-143 with a 3.81 ERA.

After his retirement in 1984 Paul Splittorff spent 24 years working as a television analyst.

Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett told a local Kansas City radio station ”He helped put the Kansas City Royals on the map and was such a great player for so many years, he wasn’t a real boisterous guy in the clubhouse. He just went about his work quietly and let everybody else get the headlines.”

Paul Splittorff 1946 – 2011

 

25
May

Nude Runner

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
‘Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!’
‘I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there!’
‘If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!’ she replied.. ‘He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!’
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?’ one asked.
‘Oh yes!’ he replied, gasping in air. ‘It feels so wonderfully free!’
Another runner moved a long side. ‘Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?’
‘Oh, yes’ our friend answered breathlessly. ‘That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!’
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, ‘Do you always wear a condom when you run?’
‘Nope..just when it’s raining

22
May

Carl’s Million Dollar Victory

     Saturday night Carl Edwards in a stellar performance wins the NASCAR Sprint All-Star Race at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Using brilliant pit strategy and winning multiple segments Carl brought home the million dollar prize money. His only mistake of the race came afterwards while celebrating his victory and caused severe damage to the front of his car
     Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the Fan Vote to gain entry into the All-Star Race, he would finish 14th. David Ragan won the showdown race, Brad Keselowski finished second earning both drivers a trip to the All-Star event. Ragan and Keselowski would finish 8th & 18th respectfully.

Carl Edwards celebrating his NASCAR Sprint All-Star victory, May 21, 2011

 

All-Star Race: Results
1. Carl Edwards
2. Kyle Busch
3. David Reutimann
4. Tony Stewart
5. Greg Biffle
6. Matt Kenseth
7. Denny Hamlin
8. David Ragan
9. Kevin Harvick
10. Ryan Newman

16
May

Kenseth wins Dover

Matt Kenseth wins at Dover on Sunday beating out Mark Martin and Marcos Ambrose. This now gives Kenseth two wins this season, his first coming earlier at Texas. Ambrose posted his best finish of the season. Edwards led 117 laps and has extended his points lead over Jimmie Johnson by 24 points.

A last second decision by Kenseth and his crew chief to take two tires allowed Kenseth to move from fourth to first man off of pit road. When the race resumed on lap 367 Kenseth was able to pass Mark Martin two laps later. Mark Martin, Marcos Ambrose, Kyle Busch and Brian Vickers finished out the top five.

15
May
Reggies Humor

The Indian and His Buffalo

An Indian walks into a cafe with
a shotgun in one hand while pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter:
‘Want coffee.’
The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.” Read more »

8
May

Showtime for Smith

     Regan Smith finally made it to Victory Lane at Darlington in the Showtime Southern 500, Saturday night. Smith who hadn’t won in 105 starts, started 23rd Saturday night. Carl Edwards finished second, Brad Keselowski 3rd, Kasey Kahne 4th and Ryan Newman rounded out the top five.
    

     Kasey Kahne who started the night on the pole suffered a drive-through penalty with 39 laps left after a commitment-cone violation. Kevin Harvick became upset with Kyle Busch after Busch wrecked Harvick. After the race Harvick walked towards Busch’s car and managed to take a swing at Busch, but missed. NASCAR officials moved quickly to ease the tension.

4
May

Thor (2011)

Thor
Comes out in theaters this Friday (May 6, 2011)

It is based on the Marvel comic. Which the comic was inspired by Nordic mythology, it’s the creation of Stan Lee. Thor’s hammer was shown at the end of Iron Man 2. Thor will also be apart of the Avengers. It will bring together the super hero team of Marvel Comics characters for the first time ever, including Iron Man, Captain America and The Hulk. It’s scheduled for a 20102 release last I knew.

I’ve enjoyed both Iron Man movies and I look to enjoy not only Thor but also the Captain America movie out July 22, 2011. It stars Chris Evans as (Steve Rogers / Captain America)

Synopsis: Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present the epic adventure, “Thor,” which spans the Marvel Universe from present day Earth to the realm of Asgard. At the center of the story is the mighty Thor (Chris Hemsworth), a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. Thor is cast down to Earth by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) and is forced to live among humans. A beautiful, young scientist, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), has a profound effect on Thor, as she ultimately becomes his first love. It’s while here on Earth that Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero when the most dangerous villain of his world sends the darkest forces of Asgard to invade Earth

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 178 other followers