The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests for this summer. They’re urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray.
Humor
Secret Cat Diary
DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,… Read More ›
New Tax Law
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of… Read More ›
Mouse Balls
This was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a
Knickerless
Caution this joke may not be suitable for young readers! Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her… Read More ›
Been In College Too Long…
You consider McDonald’s “real food.” You actually like doing laundry at home. 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends. It starts getting late on the weeknights.
After the Office Party
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put… Read More ›
50 Year Old Nightie
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.
Jeff the Bellboy
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse.
A Parents Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse. Instructions were studied and we were inspired, In hopes we could manage “Some Assembly Required.”
Tail Light On Bike
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring that to… Read More ›
Electric Train
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
Holiday Dinner
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.
The Goodnight Kiss
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.
Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK)
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
Birthday Present
A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note – romantic, but not… Read More ›
Afternoon Quickie
Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and… Read More ›
Daughters are Curious
A little girl walks into her parents’ bathroom and notices for the First time, her father’s nakedness.
Cheap Beer
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “One penny?!” exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, “Yes.”
Bad News
A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, “Six shots? What’s wrong?” “I found out my older brother is gay,” replied the man.
Lipstick
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
Mafia Job
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.” Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he… Read More ›
Assassin Interview
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a… Read More ›
Never argue with a Woman
A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to… Read More ›
New Work Policies
SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Letter to God
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
