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Archive for June 2011

29
Jun

Nebula-Class Starship

A nebula-Class starship is a type of Federation starship, slightly smaller than a Galaxy class vessel. The Nebula-class ships featured a large upper equipment module, usually used for sensors, that could be customized for different mission profiles. Nebula class ships have included the Read more »

20
Jun

New Car Shopping

      A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop upright now. Read more »

20
Jun

Hamlin wins at Michigan

   Denny Hamlin being the defending race winner had his weekend start by NASCAR confiscating the teams’s unapproved oil pan. Hamlin started the race in the 10th position and a caution on lap 191 brought out by Dale Earnhardt Jr. when he hit the wall helped. Hamlin having been conserving fuel was able to take the lead on his final pit-stop by taking  two-tires. He was able to get past Matt Kenseth on the restart. Hamlin then had to endure a challenge from Kenseth winning by only .281 seconds. Read more »

16
Jun

Kansas Tigers

These pictures are from the Sedgwick County Zoo in Wichita, Kansas. They were taken in 2009, when the zoo opened up its new Tiger exhibit. I’ve always enjoyed and have been fascinated by the big cats, lions included. I love what the Zoo did with the exhibit with several big glass walls separating you from the tigers on the outside. It really allows you to experience these beautiful animals up-close and not put yourself in harm’s way. Read more »

15
Jun

Kyle Docked Points

Read more »

12
Jun

Golf Balls

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full
of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it)
blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his
bulging pockets.

Finally, after many side glances from
her, he said, “Its golf balls.”

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a
very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain
her curiosity any longer, she asked,

“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

9
Jun
Humor

A new priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. Read more »

8
Jun

Star Trek The Next Generation Season 1

Star Trek The Next Generation first aired in 1987 and unlike the TOS, I was able to watch it from the start as they originally aired and not in reruns years later. I still to this day enjoy watching TNG any time that I can. I have plenty of favorite episodes over the course of the seven seasons.

I own all seven seasons on DVD and below I’ve listed the episodes and what disk there on for Season 1. I’ve also added a brief synopsis of each episode as well. I hope you enjoy The Next Generation as much as I do and if so let me know what episodes from season one you liked the best. Read more »

7
Jun

Donald and Daisy

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, “Do you have a condom?”

Donald frowned and said, “No.”

Daisy told Donald that if he didn’t get a condom,
they could not have sex.

“Maybe they sell them at the front desk,” she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and
asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

“Yes, we do,” the clerk said and
pulled a box out from under the counter and
gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, “Would you like me to put them
on your bill?”

“Thit No!”  Donald quacked, “I’ll thuffocate!”

6
Jun

Childress fined $150,000

Richard Childress was fined $150,000 on Monday for assaulting Kyle Busch. Childress was also placed on probation through the end of the year. NASCAR found the 65-year old team owner solely at fault for the incident on Saturday at the Kansas Speedway. Childress supposedly walked up to Kyle Busch after the Truck race placing him in a headlock and proceeded to punch him several times.

In a statement, Childress accepts NASCAR’s penalty, but would not apologize for what he had done. “I’m responsible for my actions, plain and simple. I believe passionately in defending my race teams and my sponsor partners. In this instance, I let that passion and my emotions get the best of me.” Childress, dodged a suspension from NASCAR and now must stay away from Busch for the remainder of the year.

6
Jun

Keselowski wins at Kansas

Stretching his fuel mileage at Kansas Speedway, Brad Keselowski ended a 60-race winless streak and made his second trip to Victory Lane in the Cup Series. “It’s not always the fastest car that seems to be winning these races;” Said Paul Wolfe, Brad Keselowski’s crew chief for Penske Racing. This after Brad Keselowski wins the STP 400 at Kansas Speedway on Sunday.

Brad started 25th and by the time the first caution had flown at lap 69 he had moved his way up into the top 15. Brad would never fall out the rest of the race.

“I didn’t know I was leading until two laps to go,” Keselowski said ” It was probably really smart of them not to tell me that, because I probably would have drove it really, really hard.”

Top 10 / Kansas STP 400

1.  Brad Keselowski
2.  Dale Earnhardt Jr.
3.  Denny Hamlin
4.  Jeff Gordon
5.  Carl Edwards
6.  Matt Kenseth
7.  Jimmie Johnson
8.  Tony Stewart
9.  Kurt Busch
10. Greg Biffle

3
Jun

Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, how was I born?’

The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

 


‘You got Male!’

 

1
Jun

X-Men First Class

In Movie Theaters: June 3, 2011

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Starring:
James McAvoy … Professor Charles Xavier
Michael Fassbender … Erik Lensherr / Magneto
Nicholas Hoult … Hank McCoy / Beast
Caleb Landry Jones … Sean Cassidy / Banshee
Lucas Till … Alex Summers / Havok
Kevin Bacon … Sebastian Shaw

Synopsis: The story centers on the teenage years of the first team of X-Men to come out of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning.

The film, following the classic Marvel mythology, charts the epic beginning of the X-Men saga. Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto’s Brotherhood and Professor X’s X-Men.

It’s a prequel to the original “X-Men” trilogy. Said to be loosely based on the comic book series “X-Men: First Class”, which is written by Jeff Parker.

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