A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, “Six shots? What’s wrong?”
“I found out my older brother is gay,” replied the man.
The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. “What now?” asked the bartender.
“I found out my younger brother is gay,” replied the man.
The night after that, the man walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. “Geez, does ANYBODY in your family like women?” asked the bartender.
The man replied, “Yeah, my wife does.”
Tony Stewart became just the second driver to win the first two races in the Chase for the Sprint Cup on Sunday after winning at New Hampshitre.
Fuel mileage was a deciding factor when several contenders ran out of fuel. Bowyer thought he could stretch his gas until the very end.
“I know exactly how [Bowyer] feels right now,” said Stewart. “I saw him slow down down the back, and I thought, ‘Oh, no, you’re kidding me.’ That’s not the way you want to win, but we’re in the Chase now, and we’ve got to get everything we can get.” Read more
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem
A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators.
Plot Summary: Star Wars: Conviction
Taking place just after Vortex, Valin and Jysella Horn are thawed out of carbonite. Their observers believe that they are cured of the Force psychosis that had plagued Jedi Knights in the the series’ first five novels. However, it turns out that Valin and Jysella are still infected despite Abeloth’s loss of power over the Knights back in Allies. But Valin and Jysella, sharing the continued existence of the Force psychosis and believing that they are the only ones left in the galaxy who aren’t imposters, act like they are indeed normal. Cilghal and Tekli, though, are still skeptical of the siblings’ conditions. Read more
Star Trek: Enterprise is the fifth television series set in the Star Trek universe. Created by Rick Berman and Brannon Braga, and based upon Gene Roddenberry’s classic 1966 Star Trek. Enterprise is a “prequel”, set a century before the time of the Original Series. The series followed the voyages of the first starship Enterprise NX-01 and mankind’s first steps into the “final frontier”. Initially titled without the Star Trek prefix, Enterprise ran only four seasons. The series debuted in 2001 and the cancellation of the series occurred in 2005.
As of 2011, Enterprise is the only Star Trek production whose continuity does not have two separate timelines that run parallel due to the events of J.J. Abrams 2009 film reintroducing the Original Crew and James T. Kirk.
Read a listing of all the Episodes from season one. Read more
Star Trek: Voyager is the fourth live-action Star Trek series. It was created by Rick Berman, Michael Piller and Jeri Taylor, and ran from 1995 to 2001. This is the first Star Trek series to feature a female captain in the main cast. Additionally, the show gained in popularity for its storylines which frequently featured The Borg. Voyager follows the events of Star Trek: The Next Generation and ran alongside Star Trek: Deep Space Nine during its first five seasons. Read more
Rule #1 My Cave, My Rules.
Rule #2 Only Man Decor Allowed
Rule #3 Replenish All Beer Stock
Rule #4 Junk Food is Nutrition
Rule #5 Farting / Belching Tolerated
Rule #6 Man Controls All Remotes
Rule #7 Sports on TV 24/7 With
Rule #8 All Chick Flicks are Banned
Rule #9 NO Bitching, No Issues
Rule #10 Whatever Man Says Makes
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.”
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job.
If he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Read more
The fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean comes to Blu-Ray and DVD on October 18th.
Johnny Depp returns as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. A tale of truth, betrayal, youth, demise – and mermaids! When Jack crosses paths with a woman from his past (Penelope Cruz), he’s not sure if it’s love, or if she’s a ruthless con artist using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. Forced aboard the ship of the most feared pirate ever, Jack doesn’t know who to fear more -Blackbeard (Ian McShane) or the woman from his past. Read more
Juan Montoya on lap 240 during the Atlanta race on Tuesday tapped the back of Clint Bowyer’s car sending it into the wall. The accident most likely ruined any chances of Bowyer making the chase for 2011. Bowyer was running in 11th position at the time of the altercation.
After the race Bowyer went on a rant concerning Juan Montoya’s particular style of racing and did not hold back. Read more
The final NFL preseason games for 2011 are now over. First regular season game is Thursday night September 8th Saints vs. Packers on NBC.
|Thursday, September 1st|
|DET 16 @ BUF 6 Final|
|IND 17 @ CIN 13 Final|
|BAL 21 @ ATL 7 Final|
|PHI 24 @ NYJ 14 Final|
|DAL 3 @ MIA 17 Final|
|TB 24 @ WAS 29 Final|
|NYG 18 @ NE 17 Final|
|STL 24 @ JAC 17 Final|
|KC 19 @ GB 20 Final|
|PIT 33 @ CAR 17 Final|
|CLE 14 @ CHI 24 Final|
|TEN 32 @ NO 9 Final|
|HOU 0 @ MIN 28 Final|
|DEN 7 @ ARI 26 Final|
|SF 20 @ SD 17 Final|
|Friday, September 2nd|
|OAK 3 @ SEA 20 Final|
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position — two men and one woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” Read more
“We’re excited to have everything formalized and announced. Junior and I had a handshake agreement months ago, and we let other people work out the finer points from there. It was as simple and smooth as it gets. My feelings haven’t changed since the day he first signed with us. I’m committed as ever to putting him in the best possible situation to be successful and compete for wins and championships.” Rick Hendrick said on Thursday after signing Junior to a five-year contract extension. Read more